Stag Party

The “scene”-play below is a response to a Reddit writing prompt in the subreddit r/writingprompts. The original prompt itself was posted by user u/Madanalic.

[WP] You are a young god. You have just discovered you have an evil cult and you have to destroy it before your parents find out.


An extravagant white limo pulls up, it’s windows are tinted black as night, and a hood ornament in the shape of an elk shimmers from the street lights. The rear passenger door swings open quickly, and a man with a perfect white suit and top hat emerges. A bright green sash hangs from his left shoulder and wraps around his right flank. ELKIR ROMSON. He steps forward with a swagger waving to the many disciples that clamor over each other to get his attention from beyond the red carpet.


Please, my children. Do not harm each other over praise for me, your -

A woman with a horrifying skin disease in the background smashes another woman's face into the cement with her feet so that she can jump over the barrier to touch ELKIR.


Lord, please heal me! I beg of you!

A beat.

The woman reaches him and bows before him grabbing onto his pant leg. Her skin heals instantly.


All of you look upon this woman, she has shown so much faith in me that she is willing to go to great lengths to show her devotion. Be like -

An older, fat, balding gentleman in a black suit gets out of the limo and assists his gorgeous wife out behind him. He sees his son ELKIR touting about like a fool and interrupts.


Boy, hold your tongue. We do not speak to the common folk.

ELKIR grimaces and quiets himself. He waves off the healed woman back to the crowd.


ELKIR sits at the bar estranged from his parents who sit at a table with the other MAJOR DEITIES. The bartender, a blind prophet in black robes cleans out an empty glass. He sets that one down and picks up the empty dirty glass sitting in front of ELKIR.


Another my lord?

Without looking at the bartender he stares as his parents laugh and poke fun at the other guests.


Yes, your strongest.


Very well.

The bartender begins to fill a new glass with a variety of different liquors and mixins.


My lord, if it pleases you, there are more -

The BARTENDER lowers his voice.


Fullfilling festivities in the basement.

A beat.

ELKIR looks up and behind at the bartender, and then down at the glass. He throws back the drink and waves his hand over the bar, creating several golden coins which the BARTENDER cheerfully collects.


ELKIR steps down the stairway into the basement. Loud music is pumping and right away we see naked women and men throwing themselves left and right to the music. A pool of red fluid sits in the center, partygoers splashing about, wrestling one another until they are dripping with the stuff.


Oh my Lord, I would never have expected to see you down here.

A woman wearing nothing but the skull of an elk over her head sneaks up behind ELKIR and wraps her arms around him. She down the buttons of his shirt until they reach his belt, tainting the pure white of the fabric with the red fluid.


Join us lord. All this is for you, in your name we live free and euphoric.

ELKIRs eyes look twisted and powerful. He allows her to unbelt him slowly lower his pants. As she continues to kiss him and disrobe him a group of naked men start cheering as they see their lord has come to be with them. They lift one of their own above them and hold him down in the pool of red liquid as they all cheer. Another of the men takes a knife with a carving of the elk on it’s handle and presses it into the man in the pool’s belly. He slashes from left to right revealing all of his innards and refilling the pool with his blood.

The music gets louder and ELKIR’s eyes widen more and more.


This is true freedom.

A beat.

He hears his father’s hearty laughter from upstairs. The music starts to dampen and he looks about him. He hears a buzzing coming from his pants which are now tossed to the side. He scrambles down and pulls out his phone. A text from his father ROM: “Where are you boy? They are singing songs to your name. Get back here!” He is now naked aside from his blood soaked socks.


Ravage me lord, so that I may bear your seed.


Begone foul THOT, I must return upstairs to my children who sing my name.