My Guardian Demon

The “scene”-play below is a response to a Reddit writing prompt in the subreddit r/writingprompts. The original prompt itself was posted by user u/BarrytheNPC.

[WP] Most people have a guardian angel, but you’re stuck with a guardian demon.

INT. SIMON'S TRUCK - ON ROUTE 66 - NIGHT

Simon tries to stay awake at the wheel. He's just come from a funeral and is still dressed in his mourning suit. Next to him sits a peculiar looking creature with a fat beefy head with six black eyes. It's horns curl around it's long pointed ears like a goat. It too is wearing a suit.


GUARDIAN:

So are we not gonna talk the whole way back or what?


Simon looks at his passenger and sighs shaking his head.


GUARDIAN:

Cool, so no. You're really being a big baby about this whole thing.


SIMON:

Are you kidding me? My brother is dead! He's gone, and I could have saved him. If I wasn't stuck with you I'd have-


GUARDIAN:

Woah pal, don't blame this all on me. I didn't force you to pound back those shots at the wedding. It was pretty embarrassing.


SIMON:

God, you're insufferable!


GUARDIAN:

Really man? You're gonna say his name around me.


SIMON:

Who? Oh you mean God? I wonder why saying God would make you feel uneasy, because you know God is such a good guy.


The Guardian starts to make an obnoxious squealing noise, throwing his claws out like an enraged kitten.


SIMON:

Pfft. Who's being embarrassing now?


The Guardian begins to calm down after a moment of disembodied screeching.


GUARDIAN:

Dude, not fucking cool bro.


SIMON:

I hate you so much.


INT. DIRTY MOTEL - NIGHT


Simon opens the door to the motel room and quickly inspects the beds for bedbugs. The Guardian floats into the room and looks around with a huge smile.


GUARDIAN:

Awe man, some messed up shit happened in here. Wooooowie. Look at the bloodstains.


SIMON:

I don't see any stains, look it's the best I can afford right now.


The Guardian scratches and sniffs the carpet, and then slowly licks it. He shivers like he just huffed illicit drugs.


GUARDIAN:

Oh yeah there was at least two murders here. Dude, you're gonna get haunted in your sleep.


SIMON:

Wait what?


GUARDIAN:

Oooooh this'll be fine! I'll order us some pizza and we can watch a scary movie.


INT. DIRTY MOTEL BATHROOM - NIGHT


Simon washes his hands and then wipes his face. He cups his hands and splashes his eyes. He looks back up at the mirror and instead of seeing his face he sees his late brother's.


SIMON:

AHH! Henry?!


Simon opens the door and tumbles out. The Guardian is laying back on the double bed flipping through channels. His tiny little legs twisted and he looks very comfortable.


GUARDIAN:

Told ya you were gonna get haunted dude.


SIMON:

It looked like - Henry.


GUARDIAN:

Oh shit really?


SIMON:

Yeah, does that mean that he's trying to reach me?


Simon brushes his arms from the dust and dirt that his shirt picked up from the shitty carpet.


GUARDIAN:

Nah man, they can read your memories and pick out something that you would relate to. Why do you think in all those ghost hunter shows the ghosts are always from the Victorian era? Not like you ever see caveman ghosts.


SIMON:

Huh, I never really thought of that.


KNOCK KNOCK!


A beat.


GUARDIAN:

Probably the pizza guy.


SIMON:

You ordered already?


GUARDIAN:

Yeah man, I'm starving.


Simon just looks at the Guardian, his face twisting as he realizes what's going on.


GUARDIAN:

So uh, you gonna go pay for that or-


SIMON:

Ugh, yes. Fine.


Simon pulls the wallet from his pocket and heads for the door.